If I Die Young
by Ivy1
Summary: A songfic about the death of a young woman and how her friends say goodbye. Forgive me I haven't written in a long time.


They hadn't known how weak her heart really was, she pretended to be well because, after all, soldiers weren't the only ones with jobs to do. So she didn't let them know that she was dying she simply penned a note in her diary one day as though she felt it would come unexpectedly. In her exquisite script she wrote:

"_If I die young, bury me in satin__  
><em>_Lay me down on a, bed of roses__  
><em>_Sink me in the river, at dawn__  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song"_

_Uh oh, uh oh_

And then it happened. It was a rainy twilight when she saw the headlights barreling toward her the horn blared and her heart simply stopped. There was never even an impact.

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother__  
><em>_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and__  
><em>_Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no__  
><em>_Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby_

It had continued to rain all night as Noin waited in the hospital. She had been the closest the first to arrive. The doctors were doing all they could but there wasn't much hope. Milliardo had come and stayed with her. Relena was his sister but he knew Noin would take it harder than anyone else.

As night became morning and morning turned to afternoon they could see efforts were dwindling. He hadn't been shocked when the doctors said there was no more they could do but Noin couldn't accept what she was hearing she screamed at them to try harder but Milliardo simply guided her into the hospital room where the whirring and beeping stunned her into silence.

Noin regarded Milliardo with tearful eyes as though he were asking the impossible of her. How could she say goodbye to one so dear? Milliardo took his sister's hand and kissed it sweetly he swore could feel she was lingering not quite in body but near waiting for the final moment.

The boys all came soon after shock lined all their faces. How long had she been ill? Why was she allowed to continue working? Why had she been alone? Why her? But they came and went their goodbyes short, sweet and painful.

Noin stayed at Relena's bedside the hours seemed so short. As the doctors came in the final time she regarded the body of the girl she considered her daughter there was no return for Relena. The goodbye was heart wrenching but at that moment Milliardo felt his sister go long before the machines were shut down and her body shuddered out its last false breath.

The rain had stopped and as Millardo and Noin exited the hospital the day had been so terrible that when they saw the rainbow the smiles came unbidden with more tears.

_The sharp knife of a short life, well__  
><em>_I've had, just enough time_

The pain was still there as they began preparing for her body to be put to rest. They'd had no idea what would be fitting for her final public appearance but when they read her diary it seemed she had done all she set out to do. Her words were final about her meeting she would secure a lasting peace. And she had. The next few pages were blank except for a random one the one that read:

_"If I die young, bury me in satin__  
><em>_Lay me down on a, bed of roses__  
><em>_Sink me in the river, at dawn__  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song"_

_The sharp knife of a short life, well__  
><em>_I've had, just enough time_

And they knew in reading that page that she had known. That she'd held on for long enough to do the things she'd needed to. That she had accepted her fate.

_And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom__  
><em>_I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've__  
><em>_Never known the lovin' of a man__  
><em>_But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a__  
><em>_Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,__  
><em>_Who would have thought forever could be severed by__  
><em>_The sharp knife of a short life, well,__  
><em>_I've had, just enough time_

She had so few of the normal experiences of a woman her age but the words in her diary revealed so much about the life she lived. How she missed the boys wished she could see them so much more often, her lingering romantic feelings for each one, how she'd decided to save her first intimate experience for someone who she could spend the rest of her life with, about the man she had been going to see after the meeting that night the one who she said had Quatre's heart, Heero's stoicism, Duo's humor, Wufei's passion and Trowa's grace. The one who had given her the ring she hadn't been seen without in months. She had quipped about some woman who had mumbled that the green stone clashed with her pink dress that it didn't need to match the dress he made sure it matched her eyes. He never saw her that night but he would move on never knowing what had happened never knowing her true identity.

_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls__  
><em>_What I never did is done_

The boys dressed in suits all black each looking the others over, all knowing Relena would have stood slack jawed at the sight of pink roses adorning each lapel. They each silently thought of the things she would have checked and checked their comrades, Wufei brushing a stray hair from Duo's shoulder, Trowa straightening Heero's necktie Quatre spinning so they could pronounce him perfect as well. This would have been the moment when she would usher them out into the world but she wasn't there to do it and never would be again.__

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar__  
><em>_They're worth so much more after I'm a goner__  
><em>_And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'__  
><em>_Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'_

They passed a local bookstore and saw a line forming around the block. Relena had fought hard to have her book published so many had tried to get her to soften it make it less harsh but today crowds gathered to own the last words the woman had written a woman they had all but ignored for too long.

They walked on through the streets copies of "A Lasting Peace" in the hands of many they passed on they went past the edge of town to the estate and around to the back through the clearing and into a the wooded area. They followed the pink rose petal path to where there were only a few others. Duo had been chosen to speak since he'd lived in a church and was the closest to a preacher who would be present. He spoke well of a dear friend and a departed loved one as the boys and Milliardo kicked off their shoes and cuffed their pants.

___If I die young, bury me in satin__  
><em>_Lay me down on a, bed of roses__  
><em>_Sink me in the river, at dawn__  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song_

There she was dressed in the white satin sheath she had been rushing home to change into there had been a predictably pink sticky note with the words "this one" written on it with the date of her final meeting. The ring was still on her finger and she wore the pearls Milliardo had known she was saving for her wedding day the ones that had been their mother's. Surrounding her in a small boat were the pinkest roses they could find hundreds of buds and blooms. Tucked into her hands was a scroll containing the words to a song she would sing when she thought no one could hear. The one thing they changed they all knew why as the sun slung low in the sky blazed Relena's favorite colour so very pink and the boys and Milliardo picked her up and waded into the water pushing her off into the distance the dozens of small holes in the bottom of the boat assuring she would sink quietly and with dignity.__

_Uh oh (uh, oh)__  
><em>_The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)__  
><em>_Go with peace and love__  
><em>_Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket__  
><em>_Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh_

That was when Noin sang some sweet soft melancholy tune without words beautiful and haunting with all the things they all had felt since Relena had left them. As they watched the boat disappear into the water they simply listened. They had all long since stopped their tears Relena would have told them enough was enough they wouldn't have any left for later if they didn't stop. And so they as the last note of Noin's song vanished they all left quietly as they came knowing that all Relena had worked for would never be lost on them. __

_The sharp knife of a short life, well__  
><em>_I've had, just enough time_

They would always wish she had stayed with them a bit longer but they all knew she had done all she had set out to do. Their lives were better for her having been in it. She made them all a family and if there was an afterlife they all knew who would be greeting them when they arrived so they knew they could look no less than perfect there would definitely be a ball going on.

___So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls__  
><em>


End file.
